Genoveva Leasiwal
Loss and Gorgeous (A Pastoral Study on Grace Counseling)
INTRODUCTION
Grief is a state that no one can escape from. Everyone has and will experience it,
this is due to various experiences of losing something important in life. Loss that causes
grief include: breakup, divorce, abandoned by parents since childhood, friends, friends,
valuables, legs or arms (amputed/cut off), or due to the death of the closest people
(husband, wife, children, father). , mother, sister, or brother) (Ahmadi, 2002) .
This experience that causes grief, is an emotional experience that arises as a
reaction to the loss of something "important" in one's life. For this reason, in the face of
grief, people often have feelings of doubt, loss of trust, weakened spiritual vitality,
sadness and feelings of an empty soul (Asmarany, 2012) .
The experience of grief over the various losses is not as great as the reaction of
grief caused by the death of a loved one. This is because loss outside of death can quickly
disappear on its own, but the grief caused by death takes a long time to be able to revive
the spirit that has been reduced by the death. Death is something that will be experienced
by everyone, no one can escape death, even everyone knows that each of us is waiting for
our turn to experience death, but in reality everyone is not ready when their loved ones
die. precede them (Clinebell, 2002) .
The death of a person is a painful separation experience for the family or relatives
left behind, they are filled with deep sadness and sorrow. Suppressed grief, which cannot
be resolved, becomes a heavy burden, and sucks out one's creativity. The longer the
healing process, the greater the risk of grief for its integrity (Gunarsa, 2004) . According
to Yakub Susabda, in going through these times, church members in general and church
ministers in particular deserve to be guided to function as a substitute for a large family
for people who lack a support system, they can provide practical support and emotional
support in the form of whatever suits the needs of the bereaved (Harti, 2020) . The grief
that occurred due to death was also experienced by people in the GPM Siri Sori Sarani
Klasis PP Lease Central Maluku congregation. In accordance with what has been
described previously that the large role of the environment in the event of grief assistance
which has become a tradition in every ministry in the church, this is also experienced by
grieving people in Siri-Sori Sarani, especially in the Siri-Sori Sarani congregation.
Pastoral assistance that has been carried out so far is only situational in nature,
where assistance occurs because of a situation that has become a tradition, so people will
feel uncomfortable (embarrassed) if as neighbors or relatives are not present during the
night of consolation or other thanksgiving nights. An atmosphere where it only takes
place on a few occasions, including: the 3rd night after the funeral, 40 days, 100 days and
1 year of the death of the person (family member). The thanksgiving service which only
includes singing a few hymns, reading God's Word, a short meditation and eating or
drinking tea together, after that all of them go home leaving the grieving person. For this
reason, the grief experienced by the grieving person is getting bigger so that it can cause
physical pain and despair in looking at the future.
Based on the reality that the author observes that in the Siri-Sori Sarani GPM
congregation, the form of Pastoral Assistance for those who mourn after death, is only in
the form of: worship of surrendering the dead, worship during funeral preparations at the
funeral home, which includes praise, preaching the Word of God. and prayer, funeral
services at the cemetery, thanksgiving services at the funeral home after the funeral
procession at the cemetery, with the same worship content (Hunt, 1987) .
The reality of this kind of assistance has resulted in some members of the
congregation, especially those who experience grief because of the death of their closest
people, still under various pressures that have an impact on feeling a dilemma between
having to accept this painful reality or not. Feelings of guilt, not ready to accept reality
(denying death), being sensitive, frustrated (unsatisfied), stressed (depressed state),
depression (depressed, heartbroken, hopeless and sad), developing thoughts that death